Up to now, Jake had been going largely on inference. From Finn's refusal to challenge BMO's childlike announcement, to the way he spoke of Fern now in the past tense... these clues were damning, but vague. Easy to mentally skate around in the interest of more obvious problems.
Finn was his priority. He'd always been and always would be. Fern was new to the treehouse, someone Jake was only just getting to know. That was the convenient lie his subconscious told, anyway. It wasn't as if he missed the stares; always towing the line between resentful and achingly longing. Directed at him as much, or maybe more, than they were directed at Finn.
"... I know he did, Finn." Jake says, voice raspier than before. When had that started? "And I loved him too, I really did."
The words wound around his chest like a vine, thorns digging into his heart. Jake wishes he could tell the difference between real truth and wishing something were so. His hand finds Finn's back, rubbing gently.
"I should've worked harder to show him that." And there it was, the regret, thickening up his voice and making his vision blur for a half second. Shit, he needed to keep it together. "Maybe things could've been different for both of you if I had."
The plane was going down, veer up, veer up!
"Or maybe we all would've turned purple and taken up square dancing." Jake scoots in even closer, leaning his weight against Finn fully. Covertly, a hand grew out of his side and swiftly wiped away a couple stray tears. "Whatever happened out there, maybe it wasn't anybody's fault."
no subject
Finn was his priority. He'd always been and always would be. Fern was new to the treehouse, someone Jake was only just getting to know. That was the convenient lie his subconscious told, anyway. It wasn't as if he missed the stares; always towing the line between resentful and achingly longing. Directed at him as much, or maybe more, than they were directed at Finn.
"... I know he did, Finn." Jake says, voice raspier than before. When had that started? "And I loved him too, I really did."
The words wound around his chest like a vine, thorns digging into his heart. Jake wishes he could tell the difference between real truth and wishing something were so. His hand finds Finn's back, rubbing gently.
"I should've worked harder to show him that." And there it was, the regret, thickening up his voice and making his vision blur for a half second. Shit, he needed to keep it together. "Maybe things could've been different for both of you if I had."
The plane was going down, veer up, veer up!
"Or maybe we all would've turned purple and taken up square dancing." Jake scoots in even closer, leaning his weight against Finn fully. Covertly, a hand grew out of his side and swiftly wiped away a couple stray tears. "Whatever happened out there, maybe it wasn't anybody's fault."